In our final conversation (for now) on resources for family ministry, I want to take a look at what our resources might look like as children get older. This puts me a little bit outside of my area of experience. Now don’t get me wrong, I was a youth once. I have worked with youth for a long time in churches and I have even taken classes on youth ministry. Still, I don’t pretend that those experiences give me the full picture of what it means to raise a child that is becoming an adult. Teaching them and being a leader in youth ministry is different than being a caregiver and leader in family ministry. So I will not pretend to be an expert there.
But for all that I don’t have in terms of experience as a parent of teens, I can be certain of one thing – The Word of God is sufficient for all of our deepest needs.
The Word of God is sufficient for all of our deepest needs.
In preparing for this post, I reached out to my brother in law Rev. Rhett Carson about what he does for family ministry with his three teenage children. His response went something like this:
“To be honest both growing up and right now with teenagers we just read the Bible and talk about it. This may be intimidating to some parents but is important because it shows that all of Scripture is important and it forces the parents to discuss difficult issues they might otherwise avoid. (I.e. we are going through the sermon on the mount and I had to discuss what it means to look at a woman with lust)”
Rev. Rhett Carson, Pinecrest ARP Church
I need to admit something. His response was humbling for me. It almost made me regret my first two blog posts on this topic because they put so much attention on resources that were not the Bible.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with having resources outside of the Bible itself, to help in our apprehension and appreciation of the Bible. I believe that each of the resources I mentioned before (specifically for younger children) are great resources that direct our focus back to the truths of Scripture. Still, I think that without this clarifying thought in this final post, those first two articles are useless.
At the end of the day, the Bible is where our focus should be in our ministry with and to our family. Early on there are general truths and landmark Bible stories that form a foundation in a young mind in a way that leading a toddler through Leviticus probably would not. Yet we should be conscious of how we can, even from a young age, make sure that we are putting the spotlight on Scripture and not just continually rebuilding a foundation of catechism and Bible story familiarity.
At the end of the day, the Bible is where our focus should be in our ministry with and to our family.
Especially as our children get older, there is a need to increasingly do exactly what my brother-in-law said. We must pick up our Bibles and read them together as a family. Children age out of those other resources. They need to become acquainted with the process of reading through books of the Bible, and asking questions about what God has said in His Word. From there they can connect the dots and find how it applies to their lives. Reading straight through books is a great way to do this because, as Rev. Carson pointed out, it forces us to discuss topics that we might otherwise avoid.
“Well Bobby, isn’t that what we pay you for?” (I am grateful no one at Pisgah has ever said this to me, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t heard it before). Whereas it is my calling to steward and manage Christian Education efforts at the church, the impact that a family’s faithfulness has on the members of that family cannot be underestimated. I love working with our youth and children. Teaching them is one of my greatest joys in this work. But the connections between family members will always be the most formative. I wrote about it a little in the first post of this blog series, but the way we lead our families in following Christ creates a solid foundation and grounding for the rest of life in a way nothing else really can.
So as we consider opening the Bible together as a family, what hope and advice might we offer? The Letter to the Hebrews has a convicting call for us, as we consider our growth in this area.
“For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.“
(Hebrews 5:12-14)
Any teacher understands that one cannot pass along what we do not have ourselves. To that end, where, in our lives, are we still drinking milk where we need to be chewing on the meat of God’s Word? We want to take those in our care past the “basic principles of the oracles of God.” The basics are essential, but they are not the end point of our Christian growth. And so, if we want to guide others, in whatever context, deeper in the faith then we must first go there ourselves.
The most important thing is to have a living, daily walk with Christ that focuses on His Word’s power in our lives.
This doesn’t mean that we need to merely memorize more, read more theological articles, or go get a seminary degree. Though these things might help, it is not what is most important in family ministry. The most important thing is to have a living, daily walk with Christ that focuses on His Word’s power in our lives. That is the most valuable thing we can model for those younger than us who are watching. It is the most valuable thing we can pass along to the next generation. And it is the most valuable thing we can cultivate for our own lives as well.